Would you rather that your city win an NFL championship, or have $5?

This question is almost a slam dunk question - which is funny because we don't have many slam dunks in the WNBA.  The Super Bowl's future locations are determined all the way to 2017, where Houston will host the game.  So there's no direct economic benefit to Atlanta in the Falcons winning a Super Bowl.  (The last time the ATL hosted a Super Bowl was in 2000.)  Some Atlanta players might get paid more and might spend some more in the city but there's no proof of that.  I certainly won't see more than $5 worth of benefit if the Falcons win it all.

With economic benefit off the table, the question is "is the emotional experience worth $5"?  To that, I can answer a resounding no. 

I follow the NFL entirely through cultural osmosis.  By "cultural osmosis", I mean that phenomenon by which most people know who Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock are without necessarily watching a single Star Trek episode.  Generally, you can't escape the NFL and certain players/teams/incidents are going to break into the popular culture.  If you study sports at any level, you can find some intersection with the NFL.

But in terms of caring whether the Falcons go 16-0 vs. going 0-16?  Well, if the Falcons lose I feel some sympathy for my close friends who do follow the Falcons.  I do generally want to see Atlanta sports teams do well. 

But to give up $5 so that the Falcons do well?  As Clay Davis would say, "Sheeeeeeeeet!"  The Falcons have enough fans, frankly.  Yes, the city will be hitting visitors with money from the hotel-motel tax, but the Atlanta taxpayers - of which I am one - will be paying for the upkeep of this stadium boondoggle until the year 2050.  So I have to pay for the Falcons in one way or another regardless of how well they do.

If you count the bundling cost of the NFL Network - which I do not watch but am pretty much forced to pay for - that's a monthly fee of $0.75 I am paying out of my cable bill.  So I end up paying $9.00 a year to the fucking NFL, regardless of if I want to or not.

Furthermore, if we do win a NFL championship, that means one thing - riots in the streets by fratboy douchebags of all races.  That's just what I need to see on my local news.

In summary, give me the $5.00.  Frankly, you should be giving me an extra $5.00 for next year, when we don't win either.

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(*) This is my response to the "would you rather that your city have a WNBA championship or have $5?" poll that seems to make the rounds every year.  

(**) My opinion might change if it were some other sport that the NFL.  Fuck the NFL.

(***)  If my friends were to beg me to reconsider in this hypothetical bet so that the Falcons could win a Super Bowl strictly out of the sake of friendship, I would forego the $5.  But they owe me a bennie somewhere down the line.