Connecticut is Superman, and that's the problem

It appears that Katie Lou Samuelson, one of the top ranked prep players of the class of 2015, has committed to Connecticut.  By the time Samuelson dribbles her first basketball, Kaleena Mosqueda-Lewis will be playing for some WNBA team but Breanna Stewart and Moriah Jefferson will be seniors.  So odds are Samuelson will pick up a NCAA championship as a freshman.  Nice work if you can get it.

So for the foreseeable future, it looks like really compelling race is who will finish second to Connecticut. There's not going to be much of a point in watching a bunch of blowouts, and I plan to steer clear of any game on television that has UConn in the title.  Oh sure, they'll promise you real excitement with a game against Notre Dame, or Baylor, or Stanford, but trust me you'll be watching the Huskies roll over another outgunned opponent.  I might be tempted to watch the South Carolina/Connecticut game but I don't really think that the Gamecocks have what it takes to dethrone UConn.

This actually puts UConn in a bind - this is a team that's not going to be interesting until it loses a game.  Huskies games were pretty much devoid of suspense last year, and they'll be devoid of suspense this year and the following year is Samuelson is really all that.  UConn fans are already talking about another 90 game winning streak. Yes, I've heard the argument that Excellence is Compelling, and who would pass up watching a team with such obvious great and dedicated players?

My counterargument is that Connecticut is basically Superman, or in the role of Superman in the DC Comics pantheon. He's got the super intelligence (Auriemma), the super strength (Mosqueda-Lewis), the heat vision (Jefferson), the invulnerability (Stewart).   As Seanbaby so rightly put it, Superman seems to have about 150 super powers and they keep making up one or two per issue.  It's the same with the UConn women's team.

The problem is that Superman is a very difficult character to write, oddly uncompelling due to his utter lack of vulnerability.  True, Superman will wilt like a hothouse flower when exposed to Kryptonite, but there is no Kryptonite in the women's basketball universe.  Hell, the UConn version of Superman can probably see through lead.

There are no General Zods anywhere in the American Conference, no mad scientists with freeze rays or anti-gravity missiles that might cause Superman to actually break a sweat.  No one there has any Kryptonite.  East Carolina, Tulane and Tulsa are the equivalent of

a) the pool hall owner who is also the local bookie and fence of stolen goods
b) the man running the local meth ring, and
c) the old man who has been flashing the little old ladies at the park

All disturb the local order, but you don't need Superman to take care of any of those.  You couldn't sell a comic book with those sort of opponents, much less a movie.

Batman's movies draw zillions of dollars, whereas there hasn't been a really good Superman movie since Superman II, and I'm grading on a big curve.  Even the Superman animated series wasn't any good.  Batman might be South Carolina.

But before those following the analogy assume that Batman will beat Superman because that's how it happened in The Dark Knight Returns, remember that in the comic book it took Kryptonite for Batman to beat Superman.  South Carolina will have no Kryptonite.  And UConn will have heat vision, freeze breath, and be able to fly.  In a true Batman/Superman matchup, Batman would be Batpaste.  I think South Carolina will do better against UConn than Batman would do against Superman, but Gamecock fans will learn that you don't tug on Superman's cape without consequences.